An Exercise in Cultural Differences

My apologies for missing last week. Life has been crazy; My mom's in the hospital and all that. And this week I have a copy/paste exercise from my Peace Corps prep training that I'm going to share with all of you. I'm also interested in knowing all of your responses to these scenarios: 

The Volunteer Experience: Can I Still Be Me?

Please read the incidents below, which could happen in any culture you might be introduced to. After you read the selections, you will have a chance to reflect upon what you've read and write your thoughts in a private online journal.

HOLDING BACK?

You work as an environmental educator in a government ministry under an older host country national—who is much less technically competent than you. At staff meetings, you routinely outshine him, which causes him acute discomfort. Today, he asked you not to speak at meetings and especially not to disagree with him, even, and especially, if what he says is incorrect. What should you do?

-My response: Well, he said not to speak at meetings, right? So I talk to him after the meetings, and in with the intention of not trying to outshine him, but as a way to try and help. If he is less technically competent, would he be willing to learn from me and improve his skills? 

DRAWINGS

As a Volunteer urban planner you review and sign off on staff draftsmen's drawings before sending them to higher management. There is a new draftsman who is incompetent but is a cousin of the division head. Tomorrow you will be reviewing his first drawings. This afternoon your supervisor said you can expect these drawings to be unacceptable, but asked you to approve them anyway to avoid trouble with the boss or to unnecessarily embarrass the cousin. How should you respond?

-My response: In an ideal universe, I would still approve them, but with a list of constructive criticism. I would also be discussing with the other draftsmen to help improve not only his drawings, but possibly even mentor him to help improve his skills. I would of course have to run all of this by the boss, with the understanding I do this only out of a deep respect for my boss. 

FRIENDLY ADVICE

You teach in a rural area and eat often at a local tea shop run by a low-caste family with whom you are very friendly. Today, your headmaster advised you to stop eating there. He says it hurts your social standing and indirectly hurts the reputation of his school for you to be seen so often in the company of untouchables. What do you do?

-My response: The use of the phrase "untouchables" here makes me think I'm in India, even though I know India is not open to Peace Corps volunteers. In the context of India, charity is highly regarded, even to untouchables. As such, I might sadly have to end my lunches there, but might ask for recipes and give donations to the family in return. 

Based upon the scenarios you just read and your initial impressions of Peace Corps service, reflect on the following questions.

• What do you think will be especially difficult for you to adjust to in your host country?
• What would you want to know about the culture in which you will be living in order to help guide your response?
• What might be some positive aspects of being in your host country, and how might these help compensate or ease some of the difficulties?
• In order to ease the transition and adapt to life overseas, you may need to make some temporary, yet fundamental concessions. What adjustments or changes are you willing to make?
• What personal qualities do you think are important for adjusting to life as a Volunteer? Do you have these qualities?

-My biggest adjustment is going to be realizing how far away I am from all my loved ones, but I will supplement that feeling of distance with the knowledge that I am doing something much bigger with my life than I had ever dreamed. I learned from my study abroad and from moving back home with my mom how important it is to keep busy. I will just have to have several side projects- oh darn! 

-As far as what I would want to know about the culture: I would be better equipped to answer these questions if I knew the views on women, elders, work dynamics between sexes, charity to the poor, possibly any holidays where castes were flipped on their heads (still thinking of India here) where it would be appropriate to be seen with untouchables, etc etc. These are just off the top of my head.

-These scenarios in and of themselves would be positive aspects. Stressful though they may be, dealing with them and overcoming these obstacles would teach me very marketable skills and help me grow as an individual who is more capable of handling herself in varied environments. But that aside, I think the positive aspects of my host country would be the people. I have so much to learn from them: History, language, an entire world of knowledge never before opened to me. It's like walking into a library the size of an entire country- so many books, and only a limited amount of time!

-I am willing to go back into the closet, for one. I would be willing to dress to societal norms for my sex. I'd be willing to hide my face if need be, even remove my piercings and grow out my hair. I'm willing to live in conditions that are not as comfortable as my situation at home. The list goes on and on. 

-Independence. But not independence as we necessarily see it. Independence more in the sense that  you can do something yourself, and that sometimes you really need others, and the ability to tell the difference between these situations. I'm definitely independent, and I recognize that I can't always go it alone. I'm working on telling the difference, though. 

How would you respond to these scenarios? And how would you answer these questions? I'm interested in hearing your thoughts!

Perfect Day, Part 2 OR Damn, I Crave Bohemia

Alas, another day-late blog.
But don't worry, at the end of this post I also have figured a way to make it up to you wonderful readers!
So anyway, on to Perfect Day, Part 2:

When I first wrote the scenario of my perfect day, I never imagined I could actually accomplish such ideals. Looking at my life currently, I realize that I have in fact managed to incorporate, slowly and quietly, the ideals I wish to have in my perfect day without even really thinking about it. Every day is productive and pleasurable; a perfect balance of work and play. I cook, I clean, do dishes and draw, work out and read. Sometimes I even manage to get some videogaming in.
My perfect day is not quite  perfect, however. A few important things are missing yet: My Earthship; my perfect, self-sustainable home, for one. Secondly, I'm still single, but this actually isn't as bothersome as one might think. I have enough projects to keep me busy that I'm rarely lonely, even though I'm missing another thing: My friends. I see them once or twice a week, sometimes more (others much less), and I'd like to see them more. I also realize that not every day can be perfect, so I cherish my weekly meetings like the rarest diamond on Earth. And of course the biggest item missing is the fact that I'm not being paid.
Down to my last three hundred dollars again, and I'm quickly reminded I can't be a bohemian forever. I'm still filling out job applications, sending out my resume, making phone calls, and hoping. But part of me still wishes I could have this life forever. Until I can afford my Earthship I will have to resign myself to the dreaded "job," lest I become a mooch for the rest of my life. And I must say, I would rather be a mensch than a mooch. Now that I have the ideal day down, I might try practicing a life of unconventional work. I just have to figure out where to start.
 Even caring for my mom has been easier lately; my mood is lifted and I feel almost completely back to my overly-optimistic old self. Simply changing small habits, one at a time, I have crafted for myself my perfect world within an imperfect bubble as I attempt to make my ideal day a complete reality.

What have you done to make your perfect day a reality? What kind of bumps have you run into along the way, and what have you learned about what you really value?

One of these days I plan to grow up, I promise.
But when I do, you probably won't recognize it for what it is.

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And now, for my day-late apology, I have a fun addition to my usual posts:
Motivational Music for the Non-Conformist





I begin this segment with one of my favorite songs of all time: "Believe," by The Bravery. This has been one of my theme songs for years, and continues to be a big morale booster equally when I'm in good moods and bad.
The lyrics of this song embody every discontent I have with life. The chorus rings out "So give me something to believe, 'cuz I am living just to breathe, and I need something more to keep on breathing for- so give me something to believe." This is how I feel about life. Not my life personally, but the overall fatalism that seems to infect our society. You are a child, you have fun, you grow up, go to college, get a real job, and are unhappy until you retire, then you're allowed to have fun again. Or at least that is the impression I get. With an anthem that asks the questions like "We do our time like pennies in a jar, but what are we saving for?"  and "We sit and grow our roots into the floor, but what are we waiting for?" I am reminded of the fact that I am in control of my own life; that I should grow my roots in a place I love, not somewhere I feel stuck; somewhere I should not sit idly; that I should not wait, I should do. Even my worst fears are embodied in this song: "That I am just nothing, now that's just what I've become." Being forgotten, in essence to be nothing, will only happen if I let it. I take the reigns of my life and create my own story, even if it doesn't fit onto the bookshelf with everyone else's.



I continue the segment with "This is Not the End," also by The Bravery.
My favorite line in this is also from the chorus: "Not even Earth can hold us, not even life controls us, not even the ground can keep us down.," and this is everything I love about the world. This song is in musical form my feelings for everything I love: My friends, my lovers, even my goals and motivations. Where "Believe" is an emotional morale booster, an affirmation of my own beliefs and that someone out there agrees with me, "This is Not the End" is a song that gets me pumped and excited, that makes me feel ready for action. When the bridge hits and I hear the lines: "As long as you are in my heart you're just real as me. Or maybe, maybe even more. Someone who's touched so many lives can never, never die," I remember the lives I've touched, the people I've changed; who have changed me. And it's exciting. My fear of being forgotten- being nothing- dissipates every time I hear this song. With this song, I am ready to take on the world.
After all, not even Earth can hold us...

And that's all I have for this week! Catch you next week, hopefully back on schedule!

A Few Updates OR All These Challenges are Getting Ahead of Me

There are a few items I've mentioned over the past couple months that I realized I've left hanging. This week I try to tie up some loose ends and keep people up-to-date about some of my projects. 

First off let me talk about Derby Practice! Man, that was a while ago now, wasn't it? The first time I went to practice was December 18th, and I have to say: What a group of girls! They are very supportive and encouraging people. I hadn't been on skates in years, yet I did an endurance skate for fifteen minutes. Inevitably, it was during this endurance skate that I took not one fall, but at least three. After a while I was falling from exhaustion but I kept going. 
The best part? I wasn't afraid of falling. Everyone does it at some point; even experienced skaters take drives. To some extent, I almost looked forward to it, but I think it's because I was finally accustomed to being in skates again, and trusted myself a bit more. Plus, though we were left to our own designs, we were all still under the watchful eye of our coach. 
But sadly I have to admit, that first practice was also my last. I began redoubling my efforts at fight practice: Working out more, with sword and board and also without, and that left me in a pickle. Practices for Derby were Tuesdays and Sundays. SCA meetings are Tuesdays, fight practice on Sundays. At this point in my life I'm not prepared to do both. But, in the end, I got out there, and actually did something off the wall that I didn't think I'd ever get myself to do. Maybe one day in the future I'll get back into it, but that will only happen once everything stops happening on Tuesdays and Sundays.




My next update involves my 1-Year Goals I mentioned way back when. For those of you who don't remember, here's the list as it was originally posted:


1-Year Goals

• Save up money for Pennsic (Done)
• Fight War on Debt (Changed from "Save up for Grad School Tour")
• Write a fairy tale and illustrate it
• Go through Peace Corps Application Process
• Fix relationship with my mom

But the good news is, I have a few more things done. The list now looks something like this:

1-Year Goals

• Save up money for Pennsic (Done)
• Fight War on Debt (Changed from "Save up for Grad School Tour")
• Write a fairy tale and illustrate it

• Go through Peace Corps Application Process
• Fix relationship with my mom

That's right! I have a fairy tale written that now needs illustrated, and my application for the Peace Corps is submitted! Although technically I have not finished the entire "process" I count this because the application was very difficult for me to finish. I had been debating if this plan was a way for me to escape from my mother, and as such it really ripped me up as I worked on it. Once everything was finished it actually took me another week before I could push the "submit" button. But now it's done, and there's nothing I can do about it until I get the magic letter or phone call. 

The next update has to do with an item that's on my 1-Year Goal list, but isn't complete yet. I'm extremely proud of myself concerning the progress, however. I am already down to less than 1.5 grand in credit card debt. I have not been carrying my credit card- it's hiding away in a jar and I have to say the only time I miss is when I get gas. Which is a lot more often than I'd like, but what can ya do?

My last update involves my general war on "stuff." I've begun bagging up the things I've been going through, and two thirty-gallon trash bags later and I'm not even halfway through what I've gathered, which isn't even half of what I plan on going through! So yay me! I don't notice much of a difference in my room, but Sam, one of the people who initiated this whole convolutedly awesome idea, noticed some big changes not only in the amount of free space but my general organization as well. It would seem that this is going well! I've begun cataloging everything so I can write it off on my taxes after I donate it, and I'm super excited if only for the pure amount of stuff that's going on this list! My hope is to keep this up for a year or so and see what I end up with. And if I move out in that time, all of my furniture goes, except maybe my exercise ball and the papasan chair, and my bed, which stays only because it's from a long-gone relative. 

So even though I've been doing a lot of different things and trying to achieve several goals at once, I like to think that so far it's a big success! So far, so good, so let's keep on going! 

What kind of projects do you have going on right now, and how are they turning out? Are you realizing some challenges are harder than others? Let me know!