It's That Time Again (And I Won't Forget!)

Employment might not be too far away.
I'll be working with the MRDD group in town, specifically helping with the care of a 24-year-old autistic deaf man. I'll have to be awake overnight a few times a week, BUT, I get to use that time mostly however I please- some cleaning will be involved but mostly I just have to make sure I'm awake in case he decides to get up for some reason. It sounds like a fantastic opportunity. I get to experience working with autism, and with a deaf person. It's a great opportunity to learn ASL (something I have been considering for some time off and on), and it's something moderately related to my field.
But bitch bitch, I never feel appreciated.
It's the same old story.
My mom (of course, as per usual) has a problem with this job, because god forbid I should have to drive out of town to do anything, ever.
I'm just frustrated that nothing I ever give two cents of a shit about is ever met with any positive response from my mother. It feels like nothing I do will ever be good enough for her. And I know this comes off as bitchy and angsty but I don't know what else to do. No one seems to have any advice for me, and everyone seems too keen to jump on the "let's all agree your mom sucks"bandwagon instead of trying to help me understand.

Today's just been a weird day. But I promise good things are happening. I'm learning to play the dumbek (a middle eastern drum), I have lots of drawings in the works, and I'm finally getting around to reading the entire collection of works by Edgar Allen Poe. And with the new job opportunity in sight, I'm trying to overlook the roadblock I ran into today. But living with my mom makes these things hard, and when it seems the only things I'm passionate about are the things that hit the most roadblocks, it reminds me that I have a lot to work on with my mom....


...but it also reminds me that I must be doing the right thing, because anything worth doing is never easy.

Well That Didn't Last Long: Getting Back on the Proverbial Horse (Again)

And I've missed another Thursday blog post. I had been on a roll there for a bit and then just completely fell off the wagon. But that's to be expected as part of the process, really. You don't form a habit without a few muff ups; we're not perfect, after all.

A few updates for you:
I'm on week six (ish) of the 100 Push Ups Challenge. I have not been consistent with my every-other-day workout, but I have definitely not abandoned it. It just makes keeping up with the workout a little harder. If anything it makes the challenge a bit *more* challenging, which in some weird way is kind of cool.

My pile of "stuff" still grows, though I've taken three carloads to Good Will. The pile is definitely not growing as fast, however, and that's great! I have possibly one more carload, and then I'll continue with my war on stuff (and a growing donation to Good Will that will probably surprise me when I go to write it off my taxes for this year). I've made it a good chunk of the way through my room, leaving basically my vanity and my desk to be gone through, unless I dig behind the entertainment center and bookshelf, which contains mostly old art pieces of mine anyway.

Speaking of art pieces, my creative influx has inflated lately. So many ideas, so little time! Well...I actually have lots of time but I can only work so long before I go stiff and get sore. Some of the empty spaces on my wall will have purposes soon, and although I don't want to acquire more meaningless "stuff," the intention behind these pieces is to be motivational and positive; something I can see every day to boost my morale. So I guess that means they're not meaningless, at least. I have a concept for a self portrait in the works that I'm tweaking until I'm satisfied with, and a poster on taking my life into my own hands that is somewhere around half-ish drawn and inked.

Not sure if I mentioned but I got my first piece of mail from the Peace Corps earlier in February, and now all my recommendations are in, so I'm waiting to hear from them again. I'll be needing to send them fingerprinting information and all kinds of wonderful stuff like that before I can be interviewed. The same goes with a potential job- I had an interview, and am now waiting to hear back from my potential employers.

And while I'm on my list of self-improvement, I stepped on a scale yesterday. Ugh. 190. Not a pretty number. Today I start walking, or biking, or something. I need some cardio or I'm never going to get into better shape (which I'm sure the nice Peace Corps people will want me to be). It would be nice for my shirts to fit, although I'm glad I can still slip my pants on so easily. That's always a plus.
But yes, the next plan in this great experiment of truth is to find something physical I can do that I also enjoy doing repeatedly.
I enjoy dancing. English country dancing, contra dancing, even the Bollywood style dancing I did for the Holi celebration last year. If I could get over the self image issue of me in a room with a bunch of skinny witches I might actually take a dance class. Either way I'm going to try and put together some kind of routine.
It only takes 27 days to form a habit, so just every day for three-ish weeks, then I'll have the habit and can work from there. Perhaps a 30 Day Challenge is in order, yes?

What kind of personal goals are you working on right now?
I think once I get my activity habit started, I should work on some of my cleanliness issues.....I have clothes EVERYWHERE at the moment. 

Out of Habit

I had a good run of posts going, then I fell off the horse, as is part of the process. I promise I'll come back! I'm determined to keep this blog going for a while.